for real though?

ugghhhhhh, they werent kidding when they described my grad program as "accelerated, rigorous, and intense." first day of the semester and we're handed an 85 question pop quiz for a class that hasnt even started yet!!!! ayyyyyy, so long to the lounging evenings of tiger walking, dvd watching, leisure reading....
hello cramming, theorizing, cussing, pacing, reading, lack of sleeping. it's all good. i had to give myself several internal pep talks today, reminding myself of my true fortune and privilege to be a student in this "prestigious" nursing school. i love school. i really do. i dont love homework so much. i like my time to be my time. but alas......when you're a lowly student and you want the school to give you a degree so you can go out and pursue a legit career, your ass better obey! obey, i will.
being around the chatter and blabber of nervous nursing students has helped me tap into the zen within me. for reals though. cant engage in the frantic energy of nervous classmates. because gawd knows, i can be a nervous wreck if i give myself the permission to be. after years of nervous wreck detox, i gotta hold onto what little zen i may have cultivated.
and i want to sleep. and i want to hear drums. and smell fireplaces. and cuddle with my man. and eat gelato. and talk shit.
and i miss my grandma.
i have one grandma left. gotta see her soon.
love you.