santa clause vs. jesus christ

The book I just read about cleansing yourself of toxins (and there are many many many icky yucky foul toxins), strongly discourages having your laptop on your lap, esp. if youre female because of the radiation that may affect our precious lady-like organs. But alas, here I am, in bed with my laptop in my lap. What a brat.

            My lovely little nana with the innocent heart and soft hands that used to play piano loved her some jesus Christ. I guess she still does, its just not the topic of conversation with her anymore. My daddy, who taught me and my brother all about how we are from the land (we’re really made of maize, how bout them apples?), are made of earth, brown is beautiful, wearing my hair in two braids made his day kinda stuff; would send us to his mother’s house during our school vacations (that was an awfully structured run-on sentence. Apologies). Anyhow, nana loved having us. Microwave blueberry waffles for breakfast, bologna sandwiches on white bread cut into perfect triangles for lunch, and maybe some meat and frozen veggies for dinner with beans. Always beans. So around Christmas time, nana would explain to us how it wasn’t santa who brought us our gifts, it was actually jesus himself! I understand now that she was telling us this because she wanted to make sure we understood what Christmas was all about.  Christ before Clause! Don’t worship santa, praise jesus! But when she was explaining to me how it was jesus who made Christmas happen, I had these very amusing and confusing images of jesus coming down my chimney and delivering gifts. At the time, most of the images of jesus that I had were of him on the cross and quite bloody, crown of thorns and all. I mean, imagine jesus getting into a sleigh and commanding reindeer. It was all too strange. And I was the kind of child who held onto the notion of santa clause until it didn’t make sense to hold on anymore. I loved to and wanted to believe in him. How very indicative of the rest of my life…..hmmmmmm…so when I told my mom about what nana had told me about jesus coming down my chimney to bring me rollerskates and board games, she was not happy with her mother-in-law. Knowing my mama, im sure she found a way to have a poignant yet sarcastic word about this jesus vs. santa situation with her in-law.

            Nana is/was one of the most spiritual people I know. Thanks god for that. Seriously. She would explain to us that jesus is everywhere. Everywhere! Once again, the literal and imaginative brain of a child went to work on this image. I remember we were sitting at nana’s kitchen table when she told me this. And as she said the words, “jesus is everywhere,” I started to see him pop up everywhere: in the empty chair next to me, on top of the cabinets by the kitchen sink, in the doorway, sitting on nana’s head, in the pantry with the liters of soda and Mexican cookies, everywhere! This time, he wasn’t bloody and crucified. He was the jesus in the flowing red robe with the sacred heart.

            I think one of my “favorite” things about our native ceremonies (native, as in native American. Got it?) is how we sit in a circle. We’re able to see each other, hear each other, support each other. No rows and rows of congregation where the focus is on the man (or woman for those religions who have women as ministers/rabbis) speaking the word, no…when my peeps sit to pray, we are encouraged to focus on each other. Because what nana said is pretty much true. Divinity is everywhere.  Its in the eyes and hearts of my sister who sits next to, across from, diagonal from me in sweat lodge. And just like I need her divine nature and spiritual strength to help me get thru this world, she needs mine. It all makes too much sense.