provided comfort to a dying person all last nite and all day today. the dying person is my grandmother. yeah, im drained. and also filled with love. love is recyclable. a sustainable resource. the same people who dont believe in love are the same people who dont believe in sustaining our environment. when you trash our planet you trash your heart. but if you aint got love in that muscular organ beating melodically in your chest, why should it matter? right.
things took a pronounced downturn for grandma the day after christmas. us crisostomos came together and surrounded our big mama with love and support. her moans sounded like the kind of moans that a laboring woman belts out. birth and death. just a breath away.
oh and then there's the whole situation of me going to new york amidst this uncertain time of death and blizzards.
its not in my hands. im prepared for whatever. i got snow boots and thermals and i got my family's back and prayers. bring it on. whatever it may be. of course im hoping for the new york trip to go through, but like i said, i dont really have control at this point. i took down the christmas tree today. i was over it. taking down the christmas tree used to really depress me when i was little. today, it felt a little refreshing to put the holiday behind me.
now its time to chill out to some round dance songs and wait for the laundry to dry. then steam some broccoli and pack a bit for the cold winter in NYC. because im prepared, darnnit.
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