Monday, February 7, 2011
what was
i used to be a blob of PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). like clinically. i really was a ptsd blob. no no, "ptsd blob" wasnt my diagnosis. i think it was probably something like "panic disorder with agoraphobia" and a good touch of ptsd. nasty shit. thank god im past that part of my life. growing up in a neighborhood where little girls are victims of drive by shootings and your street goes on lockdown by a SWAT team one christmas nite in the early nineties can do a number on the psyche. i remember pulling the covers over my head in the heat of summer, thinking and hoping that the blankets would serve as a shield from any stray bullets. and then there's the creepy people who seemed to come into my life and fuck with me. age 4 and then age 17. not great moments in life. but now the great moments are endless, so whats there to complain or mope about?????
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hey Mari, same shit here, cops were on the street last nite here, apparently one of the neighbors killed his wife, just found out last night myself. c-r-e-e-p-y.....
ReplyDeleteand yes there a lot of golden moments that will never happen again, i have my complaints, until i meet someone who has it even worse off....then i am humbled....but in this moment...i am unsettled...*laughing*...whatever the hell that means....maybe...shit just happens!!!.....time to walk the dog.
ciao